The ‘Why’

Hey, I’m JJ. I’ve had this blog for quite a while now, but haven’t really had a chance to write as regularly as I had wanted to. Something would always get in the way of me sitting down to spit my thoughts out onto my keyboard. But then, you see, life intervenes and gives you a reason to sit, be still and write again.

Nine months ago, I found out I was pregnant. Six days ago, on 12 April at 1:22 AM, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, but she was born sleeping.

Last month, I made the decision to revisit my blog and start writing again, because hey, I thought, I’d have the time! I’ll be on maternity leave, and would have all the time in the world to enjoy with my little one. But God had other plans, clearly not in line with my own. On the day I was meant to be induced, my husband and I found out our baby girl had lost her heartbeat.

This is my story, or at least currently where I’m at, at the moment. This probably, is where I’ll bare my heart, where I can dump my confusing thoughts, where I can grieve publicly yet keep my anonymity. Maybe in time, things will change and I can write about happier times, but for now, journey with me as I grieve for the child I lost, for the beauty that now will just remain a memory, for the life that lived and died in me.

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